Mattingly! I told you to shave those sideburns! You're off the team!

Don Mattingly got into trouble with management when they insisted he trim his long hair. George Steinbrenner is the former general manager of the New York Yankees (Mattingly's team) who was known for being unreasonably demanding.

Oh, so much to say about something so small. I know I'm probably a day late on this one and everyone probably quoted the Simpsons, but I couldn't resist.

"Mattingly! I told you to shave those sideburns! You're off the team!" - Mr. Burns

"Look, Mr. Burns. I don't know what you think sideburns are, but..." -Mattingly

"Still like him better than Steinbrenner" -Mattingly



Now that Willie seems to be employing managerial tactics of Mr. Burns, I wonder if he'll follow suite with this piece of brilliance:

Mr. Burns: You, Strawberry, hit a home run.
Strawberry: Okay, skip. (hits a home run)
Mr. Burns: (laughs) I told him to do that.
Smithers: Brilliant strategy sir.

Obviously it would look more like this.

Willie Randolph: You, Beltran, hit a home run.
Carlos Beltran: Okay, skip. (hits a home run)
Willie Randolph: (laughs) I told him to do that.
Sandy Alomar Sr.: Brilliant strategy sir.

I love how Willie also conveniently said moustaches are OK so he can keep what facial hair he had while no player on the team or on any other major league team actually sports one outside of John Smotlz and Todd Jones.

Willie Randolph's "no facial hair" edict (mustaches only) was still being discussed on Saturday, especially when Jason Phillips walked into the clubhouse with his goatee intact. Phillips joked that he didn't want to get in any trouble, and quickly disappeared into the bathroom to shave the hair from his chin. He emerged with a mustache, but after 20 minutes of ribbing about looking like an adult film star from the 1970s, he went back in and lost the mustache.

Poor, poor Jason. The reality of it all is that I know he wants to run disciplined ballclub. Looking presentable and professional is one of those things on Willie's list and that is ok. However, you can have a goatee, beard, or sideburns and still look presentable and he can just have a no scruff rule. This is a Yankee move and a Steinbrenner move. Structure is OK, but I really do not think it's necessary to tell grown men, who happen to be millionaires, how to wear facial their hair. Let it go Willie, everyone knows you are the manager and this is not a Catholic High School.

* * *

Sweeney is not the only player who could be available this spring. The New York Mets have offered Cliff Floyd to the Rangers and the Detroit Tigers have an extra outfielder -- either Rondell White or Bobby Higginson -- after signing Magglio Ordonez.

Am I the only one who misses the point to either of those moves?

Petit gets some NYTimes lovin':

Petit, 20, is almost a year younger than Kazmir and posted better statistics in the low minor leagues. He struck out 20 batters in 12 1/3 innings at Class A Brooklyn, recorded 122 strikeouts and just 22 walks at Class A Kingsport and went three consecutive games at Class A St. Lucie with at least 10 strikeouts. As a reward, Petit was promoted to Class AA Binghamton and invited to major league spring training.

"It's incredible to be here," Petit, a Venezuelan, said through an interpreter Saturday. "I don't expect to make the major leagues this season. I'm just very happy the organization has noticed what I have done."

From the Daily News:

Grant Roberts is prepared to start the season at Triple-A Norfolk, but the reliever is relieved he finally feels healthy. "Now, I feel great the next day," Roberts said about his ability to bounce back from a bullpen session.

..and

First-round pick Philip Humber from Rice isn't the Big Man on Campus anymore. He overheard this exchange between two autograph-seeking fans: "That's somebody." "Oh, he's nobody."