Making Fun Of A-Rod

Today, I've decided to make fun of Alex Rodriguez. Why? Because I want to and because no one wants to hear about me complain about Victor Zambrano.

I guess one of the real questions is why people love to make fun of A-Rod so much. When the guy delivers a big hit during the World Baseball Classic, he gets dubbed "Mr. March". When he heroically saves a young kid from getting hit by a car, he gets made fun of. The truth is I'm not sure why we all like to laugh at him, but "I'm probably pretty sure" (those are A-Rod's words, not mine) that it has something to do with a gargantuan contract that he signed when he was a member of the Rangers usurping 33% of their payroll and wondering why they suck and wanted to be traded though he said he wanted to stay. There are more reasons, but that is the major one.

"Run him over! Run him over!" Rodriguez yells at Sheffield, imploring him to barrel through Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek.

Sheffield scores, and Varitek turns to Rodriguez. "You would never do it," Varitek replies sneeringly.

It's funny because it's true. A-Rod would never do that. He will do what it takes to win as long as it involves a femme slap, but not actually physical contact like knocking the ball loose from a real man...not that Varitek is. I'm not saying he is either way, but you get the idea.

"I definitely think I'm going to be here for a long time," Rodriguez said. "I'm probably pretty sure it will work out for the best."

Haha...ass.

Rodriguez, just back from a vacation to London, Milan, Florence and Venice, said he was convinced the Rangers were "moving this train in the right direction." The team is going with youth, putting a renewed emphasis on pitching.

He called the off-season "very stressful" and said he was "very happy the trade talks have ended."

Is anyone buying this? Jet setting all over Europe while in the midst of a contract that is worth 65% of the Dominican Republic's GDP? If that's stress, lay it the fuck on me.

During Rodriguez's tenure with the Rangers, he occasionally would make like a Little League coach, shouting basic instructions at his younger teammates. "Get a secondary lead!" he would yell to a runner on first. "Get a secondary lead!" After Rodriguez left the team, one prominent American League veteran asked a younger Ranger with a chuckle, "How are you even able to play without A-Rod telling you what to do?"

Funny thing is, the Rangers were much better with largely the same team when he left...Hmmmm.

The Rangers do not view Rodriguez fondly. Third baseman Hank Blalock imitated Rodriguez's glove slap in mocking fashion in an early spring training baserunning drill. First baseman Mark Teixeira, without naming Rodriguez directly, joined the chorus condemning him for his comments about his 6 a.m. workouts, telling a Dallas-Fort Worth reporter, "Everybody works hard in this game."

That article on his oh so hard workout was so silly that it was...um...silly. These days baseball players have never worked harder. Everybody puts in their time and everybody works out. A-Rod is no different than Ty Wigginton with the exception of oodles more of natural talent. There are many tireless workers who don't get a fluffy article. No one cares, not even most Yankee fans.

Rangers players nicknamed Rodriguez "The Cooler" last season, a wry observation on how he cools off every team he joins.

Although I prefer Mr. March, this one is a solid nickname.

The presence of a superstar on a young team can be suffocating, even if the superstar sets as positive of an example as Rodriguez by always playing hard. As one Ranger says, "It was always Alex Rodriguez and the Texas Rangers"--a source of discontent for a team that had several players approaching stardom.

Interestingly enough, that 24+1 thing was tossed around when the Mets were perusing him. Whether or not that was actually true or not is another issue, but it is interesting nonetheless because it may have actually happened to the Rangers. In the end, the Yankees and the Red Sox may be the only teams that can carry a player like him and of his attitude because the teams have enough superstars that he really cannot behave like a little league coach.

Doesn't everyone feel better? I do.

* * *

I said no one wants to hear me complain about Victor Zambrano, but I never said anything about listening to other people complain about Zambrano.

holy shit victor zambrano is truly a piece of shit in the highest form. i would rather have ron darling put down the mike and pitch. u think we can trade him for joe mays or scott elarton?
~ ossy cocotaso

Anytime you are asking about a trade for Mays or Elarton, it's a bad scene my friends.

as if victor zambrano single handedly ruining my night, here comes feliciano. for fucks sakes this shit is enough to give you hemorrhoids.
~ jake in norfolk

I hope you managed to elude the hemorrhoids Jake, but it is hard to disagree with you.

I usually try to defend Victor Zambrano. I feel like he's decent enough to be in the rotation.
But... that's it, I'm done. It's over.
Fuck Zambrano. What a piece of shit.
This special season cannot be ruined because of that shit head.
If the mets lose the division by a single digit amount of numbers i will blame Victor Zambrano.

Release him, get rid of him. Bring up Jose Lima... wait, forget that. Bring up Pelfrey... that's it.
Make a trade... SOMETHING.
~ Benny Blanco from da Bronx

Benny, glad you finally came over from the dark side.

I too hate to give up on the guy but I agree with you Benny. Not only does ZimZam throw crap but no-one is there throwing the bat at the ball in support of him. They seem to give up when he is behind.

My question is, is he enough of a pitcher to follow Octavio Dotel's lead and become a dominant RP? Bring Heilman into the rotation and train Zambrano to become a fireballing setup man.
~ Scott

Give up indeed. You've stole my thunder for tomorrow's post...I'll forgive you though. As for Zambrano turning into Dotel, no shot.

Victor.

You're dead to me.

I don’t ever want to see you again.
~ Nokes

Simple. To the point. Mikey likey.

Willy still loves Victor. Mike here's a quote from northjersey.com you can post to all of his other stupid-ass comments.

"I'm not concerned at all" about Zambrano, which means he's still in denial.

Unbelievable.
~ John

John, Willie is always in Willie world. I don't just blame him though, Omar failed to address the rotation except by weakening it to bring....drum roll.....Jorge Julio in here.

That Willie quote about not being worried may have just sent me over the edge. I'd like to beat him and Zambrano in the face with a chair.

Like somebody said on here before, dude has no idea where the ball is going when he throws it.
~ Ken

Ken is actually a pacifist. To make him say such things says a lot. Really, he is like the American Gandhi so you know things must be bad.

Enough of that.

Jim Bowden? BAM! DWI. How's that taste?

Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden was arrested early Monday morning in Miami Beach, Fla., and charged with driving under the influence after reportedly getting into an altercation with his fiance and then running a stop sign.

Never drive angry Jim. Never drive angry.

"It's the nature of this industry, and anybody who goes through a tough time. If I'm not mistaken, I think they were booing (Mariano) Rivera the other night. He's been pretty damn good."

Rick, c'mon now. No comparison.

The Klap says what I feel.

Welcome to Victor Zambrano's world, where winning streaks and early April optimism go to die.

Gone, in five miserable innings, was the Mets' perfect aura, the one that turned a midweek series with the Braves into a miniature October showdown. Instead, Zambrano buried the Mets in a 7-1 loss, nudging Willie Randolph closer to judgment day about the No. 4 spot in the rotation.

One game yes, but a deflating one because of not what happened last night, but what I expect in the future and how this will affect the Mets playoff run.

Another Met prospect on roids.

MLB announced a 50-game suspension for Mets minor-league pitcher Jorge Reyes for testing positive for a performance-enhancing drug. Reyes, 21, had a 2.45 ERA in two starts for Single-A Hagerstown.

Heyman throws in his two cents:

But Willie Randolph, who's been sticking up for Zambrano, summed up: "Too many bad pitches."

"Those were good pitches," Zambrano claimed. "But they are good hitters."

To solve a problem, the first trick is in recognizing the problem.

Zambrano does not look particularly comfortable in the clubhouse. Sometimes he doesn't look like he belongs.

By now, we have to wonder whether Zambrano is cut out for the big city. The problem may not be his mechanics, after all, but his mind. The problem may go beyond the expertise of a pitching coach, even a very capable pitching coach.