8 IRREFUTABLE FACTS ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS
1. Chuck Norris could kill you with one roundhouse kick (with either leg).
2. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
3. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
5. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Chuck Norris > Lance Armstrong.
6. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
7. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
8. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
SALARIES ADDED SO FAR (2006)
Carlos Delgado $13.5 million
Billy Wagner $10.5 million
Paul Lo Duca $6.25 million
Total $30.25 million
Mike Piazza $15 million
Mike Cameron $6 million
Doug Mientkiewicz $3.75 million
Braden Looper $3.5 million
Total $28.25 Million
...and more to be added.
Antonio Alfonseca would like to fill the void created by the loss of Hernandez in the Mets' bullpen.
"Antonio loves the direction they're going in and they're one of the teams he asked me to contact. I hope in the near future I speak to Omar Minaya about that," agent Juan Iglesias said.
The 33-year-old right-hander went 1-1 with a 4.94 ERA for the Marlins last season. He appeared in only 33 games because of a stress fracture in his pitching elbow that sidelined him for three months, but Iglesias said the injury has "healed perfectly."
Maybe lighting can strike twice. Alfonseco and Roberto are basically the same pitcher.
Javier Vazquez, who has piqued the Mets' interest, may be on the verge of getting shipped to the Windy City. A baseball insider suggested the White Sox are the most likely destination for the Diamondbacks pitcher, possibly leading to a trade involving Jon Garland (a free agent after the 2006 season) or Jose Contreras.
I almost hope some of these guys get moved to prevent Omar from going overboard, however...
Arizona is "nearing conclusion" of a deal for righty Javier Vazquez, GM Josh Byrnes told The Post, and the Mets spoke to the Diamondbacks as recently as yesterday.
Who it is, no one really knows. It could be St. Louis, Chicago, or the Mets, though I do not see it as being the Mets.
The Mets and Yankees have shown the most interest in Cuban defector Barbaro Canizares, a defensively challenged, big-hitting catcher who would begin his U.S. career in the minors.
All thost tasty tidbits were from Adam Rubin's article.
If you were assured he'd hit 40 home runs, drive in 120 runs, score 90 runs and be a greater presence in the order than Floyd, would you be willing to assume a $57 million obligation? Even if the Sox were to pay $15 million of it, would you take on $42 million for 15 more home runs, 30 more RBIs and 20 more runs each year for three years?
Floyd fit well with the Mets last season -- better, I suggest, than Ramirez would fit in this often-trying market. He's part of the fabric of the Mets. He responded to Randolph's challenge and had the second-best season of his career. The only baggage he has is what David Wright carries for him as part of the playful clubhouse hazing.
Moreover, the Mets' bullpen is thin, with Roberto Hernandez gone and Minaya not yet done. Deal Heilman, and the 'pen will be so thin, it will have no other side. At the same time, Milledge is not a guaranteed Major League regular, but if the Mets deal him, what will happen to the core of players Minaya says he wants to create?
"In every trade proposal, he's asking for the other general manager's first born, plus two pitchers."
--an MLB executive, on new Rangers GM Jon Daniels, who reportedly overvalued his players when negotiating trades (FoxSports.com)
"It takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes."
--an MLB executive, on the deliberate style of former Orioles co-GM Jim Beattie
"He might not live to see the end of that contract."
--a scout, on 47 year old first baseman Julio Franco, who just signed a two-year deal with the Mets
"If the Mets get Manny Ramirez, he'll be the first outfielder sponsored by OnStar."
--an AL scout, on Ramirez' outfield defense in Shea (New York Newsday)
Tejada is special, but would the Orioles receive a better offer -- dollar for dollar and skill for skill -- than Abreu, especially since Tejada’s trade demand reduces their leverage? Even if they insisted on a sweetener, couldn’t they be talked into the believing the endless Gavin Floyd spin?
If Gillick could beat the Red Sox to Tejada, it would leave Boston panting for a shortstop while still willing to move Ramirez. Rollins, who will make about $8 million per over the next five years, would be ideal in Fenway. And if the Sox wanted more? Give them Pat Burrell, at about $8 million a season, to replace Ramirez’s power. But insist on Matt Clement, at about $8 million, in return.
You have to give him credit for concocting that one.