A blog dedicated to the New York Mets with some other baseball thrown in.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Irrefutable Facts About Endy Chavez? Believe It.

From BMC's comments at Metsgeek.com:

Endy Chavez is so fast that when he goes after a fly ball, he has time to tie his shoes, shave, and call his mother while he waits for the ball to come down.

Endy Chavez dropped a ball once. Once.

70% of the earth’s surface is covered by water. The rest is covered by Endy Chavez.

Endy Chavez learned how to fly from Superman so he could dive for line drives.

The Snow Cone is being renamed to the Endy Chavez.

Endy Chavez doesn’t climb over walls to catch the ball, he leaps over them in a single bound.


Update: BMC posted more...

Endy Chavez can play all three outfield positions. At the same time.

Endy Chavez has to use a foam bat.

Endy Chavez is so fast, he can steal first base.

One time I saw Endy Chavez hop over the centerfield fence, hotwire a car, and drive 3 blocks to rob a home run from Andruw Jones.

Endy Chavez can hit a five run homer.

Endy Chavez was released by the Phillies 'cause he makes a better cheese steak than Pat.

I saw Endy Chavez hit an inside the park home run. Running backwards.

Endy Chavez taught Pedro his changeup.

Endy Chavez doesn't cry.

Endy Chavez can pitch with both hands.

Albert Pujols keeps an Endy Chavez Topps rookie card in his locker for good luck.

The new stadium for the Mets in 2009 will be called Endy Chavez Field.

When the Expos moved to Washington, Endy Chavez carried the team on his back. The entire team. And the bat boy.

Between innings, Endy Chavez dresses up as Mr. Met to entertain the fans.

Endy Chavez is Willie's favorite player!

Roger Clemens has a clause in his contract that he never has to face Endy Chavez.


Classic. Endy Chavez has become a cult hero. Who would have guessed it?

While we are on the topic of irrefutable facts....

  • Chuck Norris stabbed his grandmother in the neck for forgetting his favorite pie at Christmas. Upon learning that she had actually brought it and was playing a joke on him, he conjured her back to life by roundhouse kicking Jesus.

  • Chuck Norris wipes standing up.

  • Chuck Norris was born Charles Edwin Norris III. Despite being mere minutes old, he grabbed his birth certificate and roundhouse-kicked it up his father's ass because, as he said, "I will never get any pussy with the name Charles. From now on, call me Chuck... because it rhymes with fuck."

  • When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

  • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

  • Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

  • Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

  • Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

  • There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

  • Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

    * * *

  • Who's laughing now Cardinals?

    Jose Reyes belted a "sayonara" home run -- the Japanese term for a walkoff -- in the 10th inning today as the MLB All-Stars swept the five-game series with a 5-3 win in Fukuoka.

    Chants of "Jo-se, Jo-se," could even be heard in the Yahoo! Dome, thanks to Navy personnel from the U.S.S. Fitzgerald and U.S.S. Kitty Hawk.

    "I actually thought we were in Shea Stadium," quipped Ryan Howard, the series MVP.


    Ok, so maybe you are still laughing, but more of a chuckle. You mocked a guy that will be able to run for President of the United States when he is done. He doesn't even need to say anything on the podium. He can just smile and win and this kid is well on his way to becoming a mega star. Funny how things can change so quickly. Just when it looked like David Wright would be the face of this franchise for the next decade or so, Jose Reyes forces the issues for there be two with the possibility of Reyes surpassing Wright in terms of value to the franchise.

  • And now we play the waiting game......ah waiting game sucks lets play Hungry Hungry Hippo's.

    Did the Mets win? Did the Yankees win? Did the Diamondbacks shock everyone and put up the winning bid? Don't fuck with Omar. That is all I have to say on this topic today.

  • Willis talks warming up?

    At that time, general manager Omar Minaya was turned off by what the Marlins sought in return for the mercurial left-hander. Now that another trading season is upon us, there is speculation that the D-Train-to-7-Train talks may be warming up again.

    Tom, you are a good guy, but just who is 'speculating' this?

  • Ha-ha!

  • Strap a set on and make a decision.

    "I don't see anything happening in the near future," agent Gregg Clifton said by phone from his Scottsdale, Ariz., office. "Tom continues to consider his options and continues to discuss the situation with his family.

    "Similar to when he made the decision to join the Mets, Tom is a very thoughtful and thorough person. He's just taking his time."


    Note to Tom: Atlanta does not want you. Chuck James + Tim Hudson + Horacio Ramirez + paying boatloads of money for Mike Hampton + John Smoltz + Kylie Davies = No use for Tom Glavine.

    Exactly why would Atlanta want you back? They didn't have a flawed streak of consecutive division titles because they like to do people $8 to $10 million favors when they wanted to be close to their families. I say Omar gives him the finger and shows him the door if if he hears nothing next week. This is getting ridiculous. Omar HAS to know how to plan his off-season and it is almost open season on free agents. The fact he even has to mull over being on a winning team that might win it all in 2007 or a team that has NO shot at winning is telling me a lot. Family..blah...blah...You make $12 million a year and will be on the road half the time regardless where you play. Man up for one year.

  • What everyone wants in life. Affirmation from Tony LaRussa.

    "He's not just smart, but he's aggressive," La Russa said of Minaya yesterday at a luncheon for the launch of First Equity Benefits of America, a life insurance company. "They're doing things right."

    Now Omar can die happy.

  • Will this rivalry ever end?

    The Nationals' manager's job could come down to two New York coaches - Met third-base coach Manny Acta or Yankee first base coach Tony Pena.

    Let's go Acta! Make some room for HoJo up here.

  • Hmm...

    Mulder underwent arthroscopic surgery in September on his left shoulder - which the Mets are well informed about since their team physician, Dr. David Altchek, performed the surgery. Mulder suffered a partial tear of the rotator cuff and is expected to resume throwing the first week of January and return to the mound between March 1-15, with the possibility of being ready for opening day.

    While they are not allowed to speak dollars until the free agency period begins Sunday, Mulder is very interested in reuniting with Peterson, who helped him to a second-place finish in the 2001 AL Cy Young Award voting. Mulder, who was 97-50 in his first six seasons before struggling to a 6-7 mark last year, likely will need just a one-year guarantee while he proves himself again.


    I forgot about the Mets surgeon performing Mulder's surgery.

  • I think the creator of all that Sheffield is on this Earth every day.

    “I’ve done more for the Yankees than he will ever do,” Sheffield said of Abreu. “When you lose your spot on a team, it should be because the other guy is better than you, but that’s not the case here. Why was I not given a chance to compete for the right-field job?”

    Tell us what you really think?

    “I will tell you that not everything is rosy in Yankeeland. It’s all a facade — it ain’t real.”

    We knew that anyway. And most people think the Yankee facade is that ugly thing in right field...

    I'll tell you what. Whoever gets him will get one pissed of player that is going to produce.

  • On Tuesday, Mesa put up a twenty-one spot to beat Grand Canyon 21-4. Fernando Martinez went 2 for 4 with three runs scored, two doubles, an RBI, and a walk. Kevin Mulvey went four innings and gave up four hits, one earned run, and two walks while striking out one. In the AFL, that is as good as a shutout.

    Yesterday, Mesa beat Grand Canyon 4-0. Fernando Martinez brought his average up over .250 with a 1 for 3 day with double. He also is inching towards bringing his SLG% over .400 after his barrage of doubles in the past two games.
  • 25 Comments:

    Anonymous DG said...

    Hey, if Tom wants to go back to Atlanta, he'll do it for half the money, ... willingly.

    Endy deserves to have a sandwich named after him, or a candy, or a sexual aide or even a pharmaceutical (legal or not). Whatever he wants.

    But Endy is too valuable a 4th outfielder to be my choice for #3. I'd rather sign a Preston Wilson or something (worst case scenario...).

    I'd go after Willis but only if we fail to land Matsuwhatzamacallit. I hope we land Matsuwhatzamacallit by the way.

    Fernando Martinez will finish the AFL with an average over .280.

    You think HoJo will actually get a chance if Acta goes? He nearly lost his job last year the Mets were so pissed.

    Mulder is fine, Scully problematic. Okay, so I hate that I wrote that...

    BTW, Heilman - valuable.

    11:52 AM

     
    Anonymous Coop said...

    OMG, I totally underestimated Gary Sheffield. I *heart* Gary Sheffield now. I call it the opposite of A-Rod - the Yankees threw him under the bus. Now Gary is doing that dutch door action. Nice.

    11:57 AM

     
    Anonymous bmc said...

    Hey, that's only Endy's defense. Some more facts about Endy Chavez:




    Endy Chavez can play all three outfield positions. At the same time.

    Endy Chavez has to use a foam bat.

    Endy Chavez is so fast, he can steal first base.

    One time I saw Endy Chavez hop over the centerfield fence, hotwire a car, and drive 3 blocks to rob a home run from Andruw Jones.

    Endy Chavez can hit a five run homer.

    Endy Chavez was released by the Phillies 'cause he makes a better cheese steak than Pat.

    I saw Endy Chavez hit an inside the park home run. Running backwards.

    Endy Chavez taught Pedro his changeup.

    Endy Chavez doesn't cry.

    Endy Chavez can pitch with both hands.

    Albert Pujols keeps an Endy Chavez Topps rookie card in his locker for good luck.

    The new stadium for the Mets in 2009 will be called Endy Chavez Field.

    When the Expos moved to Washington, Endy Chavez carried the team on his back. The entire team. And the bat boy.

    Between innings, Endy Chavez dresses up as Mr. Met to entertain the fans.

    Endy Chavez is Willie's favorite player!

    Roger Clemens has a clause in his contract that he never has to face Endy Chavez.

    11:58 AM

     
    Blogger mr. met said...

    I hope we land Matsuwhatzamacallit by the way.

    Me too man.

    I think HoJo will still have a job. The Mets were being nuts to NOT let him go in the first place. The bottom line is, the kids seem to like him and he would be a big value add as a third base coach.

    I like Endy as the 4th too, but I wouldn't mind seeing an platoon-type situation. He did play in 130 games this season. Something similiar is not out of the question in '07 either.

    How can you hate Sheff? Bring him to Queens, he'd hit 40+ homers just to prove the big Stein wrong. Not that I want him here, I'm just saying.

    Good stuff on Endy...

    12:33 PM

     
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Nice Simpson ref, Mike.

    Has anyone talked Mark DeRosa?

    - Nokes

    12:39 PM

     
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Is it possible for the Mets bid on Matsuwhatzamacallit to leak... soon? Or is it likely that we won't find out until after we know the winner in four days? I can't take the suspense!

    12:47 PM

     
    Anonymous benny blanco from da bronx said...

    I still like the Uno card one, for the Chuck NOrris facts, love it!

    Ahh the meaning of life... waiting. Mets got Dice-K. I can feel it in the air tonight.
    Somebody on metsblog said that Mulder is the type of risks the Mets should be taking. Listen, I love Mulder and if he gets on the Mets I'd be happy, but a guy who had surgery on his throwing shoulder as the risk you take over Dice-K? Are you on crack, bitch!?

    DBacks getting Dice-K? all I'm gonna say about the DBacks is they no longer where purple! Thier uniforms look pretty bad assed. Check out at the mlb.com shop

    Ron Washington and Art Howe? that bench is gonna be booooooring.

    What decision does GLavine have to face exactly? Maybe its just me but he says it either the mets or Braves. Braves aren't offering him anything more than $6 million. So Mets win by default, right? What the fuck is he thinking about?

    Oh, what do you mean everything isn't happy go lucky at the Yankee Clubhouse!?!? Gary, say it ain't so!
    I wanna see him play for the Mets. I want to see him on the bench hanging out with Reyes. See the man smile for once. It'll be a rare event. Like a lunar eclipse.
    I wouldn't mind Sheffield at all. He's one of my favorites.

    F-Mart owns you!

    12:58 PM

     
    Blogger mr. met said...

    DeRosa is welcome in Queens. I say Aurilia, Loretta (like having a year contract there), DeRosa....

    After Pedoria and Callaspo of course and I'm not so sure about the 2nd one after what BP wrote about him.

    You will find out tonight at about Midnight or 2AM...Get ready ladies and gentlemen.

    Mulder should be a risk the Mets take IF they didn't have four kids ready to step in right now! If they are going to bring back Glavine and El Duque, sign an ace, and have Pedro in the second half, where exactly are all these guys going to pitch? Mulder is plan Z. If all else fails, he is worth the risk. D-Mat is a much more caculated risk. Like I said before, I trust Omar's scouts and Omar. Look what they did last season in extracting value out of cheaper players. I think they see him as the best pitcher available. Sure does not hurt that he does not cost any draft picks either.

    Sheff has the biggest chip anyone has ever had on his shoulder.

    1:40 PM

     
    Anonymous Drooling Met Fan Wears No Spit Cup said...

    Mets must resign Chad Bradford.

    2:11 PM

     
    Blogger mr. met said...

    Rest assured they will.

    He's a type A free agent. Ain't no one going to outbid the Mets for him and give up a first rounder. Ain't gonna happen. Your Bradford jersey will still be good in '07.

    2:54 PM

     
    Blogger brooklyMetFan said...

    Over on BrooklynMetfan.com Endy has earned the nickname "BLBB" which stands for the "Best Little Bastard in Baseball"

    Long Live BLBB!!!

    2:55 PM

     
    Blogger Itsmetsforme said...

    "I forgot about the Mets surgeon performing Mulder's surgery."

    --is that good or bad? when i hear mets training/medical staff, i reach for my revolver. Maybe things have changed, but the calves so no!

    RE: Glavine, I am totally in the same camp--i am unpersuaded that he is worth even $12 mil, and he obviously has an exaggerated sense of his own worth at this stage--HE needs the Mets more than they need him, and its just lazy thinking to assume otherwise. Not a single media account has noted his utter lack of leverage by asking whether the Br*ves actually pity him enough to give him half what the mets will. If Omar stands up to him, that'd put me as much in the Omar camp as ive ever been. The more I think about it, the more Im convinced that the mets don't "need" tom glavine at all. Its a nice story if he wins 300 but its not even our story.

    On the other hand dont I understand the Shef koolaid one bit--sure he is productive when healthy in the past---but eventually the "head case" part will once and forall overtake the "production" part and with his age, he is much closer to the bad end of the spectrum: just being a headcase--this is the gamble any GM acquiring him takes.

    I also dont see this desparation for submarine guy chadbrad--a one hit wonder if i ever saw one. Cmon, you need to shuffle the deck in the bullpen every year as it is a rarity that these pen spare parts have more than one good year in a row. For instance, Berto. Why everyone thought the pick up Old Man Berto was inevitable and necessary when Duaner went down was beyond me. I think that was Omar's worst move, because it was done out of desparation. And Berto was absolutely useless, a fact overlooked in the hoopla over Ollie.

    4:55 PM

     
    Blogger Anthony said...

    I'm at the point now where I'm BEGGING Glavine to go back to Atlanta if he's actually contemplating this. Guys, 12 million a year for one more year. Give me a break. PLEASE go back Tommy boy. I want to watch us BURY him and the Braves. It would be fun to do it with him in an Atlanta uniform. I really don't think he's worth that much money.

    Plus, if we do get Dice-K (and I'm relying on Benny's feeling on that!), then really fuck Glavine. We have DK, pick up a strong free agent (or trade for Willis-please), and go with what we have which is solid (Maine, Pelfrey, Ollie, Humber, etc).

    We all know Shef's a head case. But man, he is going to lay down some SERIOUS damage this year for someone and you know it. I'll take that bat all day long. His teammates liked him. We have such a solid clubhouse, I think he would be fine. Bring it on.

    Hojo is the man and will always be a Met. You don't let him go.

    It's really weird, I decided half way thru this season that Reyes was my favorite Met. I truly think he's going to be a legend. He has it all.

    5:19 PM

     
    Anonymous bmc said...

    Gary Sheffield is the Tracy Morgan of baseball. "Steinbrenner is injecting AIDS into the chicken fingers at Shea!"




    What?



    He's a ringer. Go get him Omar.

    5:20 PM

     
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    why does everyone seem so focused on overpaying for dice-k rather than overpaying for zito? say they pay a $20 mill posting and then give a 3 year $30mill contract. they just paid $50 mill for 3 years for a pretty big x-factor (this money is all coming from the same pot). meanwhile, we could have zito probably for $13-15 per season, and he is proven mlb talent, coming to the NL from a stronger league and possibly reuniting with his pitching coach who coached him to great success. i'm not gung ho on zito, but i'm much less so on dice-k.

    ichiro is the only japanese player who has ever come over as advertised, but that's really only because he possesses speed which really is the only skill that translates in both japanese and american leagues. everything else becomes an x-factor when you switch leagues, but speed is speed.

    5:25 PM

     
    Anonymous seattle steve said...

    One thing Valentin gave us was some "pop" in his bat, the 2b we are talking about have none, so to make up for it we will need to find someone who can and play left field. Milledge is not ready for the power #'s so he can platoon with S. Green and get his feet wet, I still feel that we need a productive #6 to protect our #5.
    One other thing I do not feel that we should spend the 148 mil max but if we have targeted a player that we want the $$$$ will not be an issue... sign Soriano and Loretta. Trade Heilman, Gomez and Bannister for Willis.

    5:47 PM

     
    Anonymous benny said...

    I think we can all admit that getting Oliver Perez and Robo was out of desperation. It was obvious. Without the cab accident the Mets don't make that deal, no way no how, they probably make some other deal.

    BUT at the same time, if the Mets didn't get lucky with Guillermo Mota, I gaurantee that Robo would have been out there in the playoffs in very important situations.

    I don't know how everyone else feels but as far as overpaying fo Dice-K instead of Zito, there are a couple. Dice-K is 2 years younger, its only 2 years but hey, gotta take what you can.
    I'm not sure why but I get the feeling that his contract will be for a shorter period of time.
    His annual salary is most likely going to be less.
    And finally, the stuff that Dice-K posses is much better than Zito's. I mean shit, I know I'm no scout but when I see clips of his performances, I see sick ass breaking pitches, sneaky fastball that has late jump to it, and good off-speed stuff. His potential is greater.
    I'd rather take the risk of Dice-K. But don't get me wrong, I love Barry Zito and would consider him a FINE plan B or C.
    Its just that, Dice-K's posting is NOW! So you can't wait for it.
    Barry Zito will remained unsigned until 2007 most likely. And you can't really gaurantee it.
    With Dice-K you practically gaurantee it as long as you bid the posting fee.

    5:53 PM

     
    Anonymous Scott says FUCK GLAVINE!!! said...

    "Endy Chavez was released by the Phillies 'cause he makes a better cheese steak than Pat."-I dont remember the cheesesteak outlet at Citizens but this season they were horrendous. Maybe Endy WAS cooking them between innings.

    Sheffield is going to be traded for a box of rolaids-seriously! He keeps opening his trap and lowering his value.

    Omar, write off Glavine. "Sayonara motherfucker" should suffice. He can't keep us waiting like this, he is just not worth it. Mulder will be with us for years and cost us 2/3 of what you will. Is Glavine a class A FA? If he doesn't come back we end up with a good draft pick anyway right?

    Come on free agency! Its nearly my favorite time of the year! They should change merry Xmas to "Merry Free Agent Signing Period."

    6:27 PM

     
    Anonymous benny said...

    Wow, J.D. Drew opted out of the fianl 3 years of his contract.
    I'm shocked.
    I hate him. Fucking greedy asshole. I would say I like the Mets to get him but that means that Drew wants MORE than 3 years and more than $10 million he was getting from the Dodgers.
    Fuck that. FUCK JD DREW that greedy asshole.

    8:51 PM

     
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    Anonymous sidd finch said...

    Dustin Pedroia is a slug. We can do much better than that. Pedroia makes David Eckstein look like Mark McGwire.

    Mota has been good and the Mets should sign him, but I think he needs to get on Ritalin right away.

    It's clear that the Mets are going to beef up their starting pitching. Dice-K, Zito, and Mulder are all good choices, there is going to be competition for those guys, Omar should decide who he wants, and go hard after him. It will be expensive, no matter what he decides.

    JD Drew is an idiot. Why would anyone pay more than the current contract he's getting? He could injure himself opening up a can of tuna.

    The Hartford Courant says that the Red Sox and WTIC might be splitting up after 46 years. Why don't the Mets try to get with them? I'm tired of the Mets being a non-entity in Central CT. While they are at it, why not build an AAA stadium next to Rentschler, and play in East Hartford, instead of New Orleans?

    Anonymous, I was skeptical about the chance to make extra cash when I saw the first posting, but that second post really has me revved! How do I sign up?

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    Anonymous JohnF said...

    Sorry Mike, but until there's a constitutional amendment, Jose can't be elected President.
    That being said, he is easily the face of the Mets.

    10:59 AM

     
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