A blog dedicated to the New York Mets with some other baseball thrown in.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Must Read of the Day

You just cannot make this stuff up.

We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the wiener poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.

Just let that sink in.

At first, this all seems to be your typical Oregonian suburbanite craziness. Then after it marinates for bit, it all seems reasonable. What type of heathen does not clean up the excrement, or 'poopie' as they phrased it, that is left by their dogs? Of course, this story is made all that much better by being able to say 'weiner poopie' because 'labrador poopie' just does not have the same pizazz.

"It has to be a young person because they put these lines around Jesus, no adult is going to waste their time doing that," says Mansel. "And referring to wiener poopie. My gosh!"

Although that sounds like airtight logic, I would presume it is in fact a grownup. Kids generally do not get all bent out of shape about dog droppings around the hood. I do not know about you, but I cannot wait to hear the end of this tale that includes Jesus being stolen, ransom notes, and weiner poopie.

* * *

  • Congress is back at it assuming their newly self-crowned position of morality police. I think Belichick should sit in the corner for what he did, but stealing baseball signs has been around and is probably still prevalent. Teams go through great lengths to try and mask their signals because they assume there will probably be an attempt to steal them.

    Now sitting somewhere with a video camera is different case, but this is not really all that big of a deal that Congress should get involved.

  • What is more improbable than a blind guy hitting a hole-in-one? A 92-year old blind guy hitting a hole-in-one.


  • By way of Rob Neyer's blog, this is swellicious read.

    Unfortunately, I occasionally encounter fans of teams I do not support, and I will never be able to understand how they can have come to such a clearly incorrect conclusion. I spend a great deal of time trying to set straight whatever misinformation they have received. Yet, they somehow still manage to believe that their team is the best, despite the mountains of evidence to the contrary. Take Red Sox fans, for example. The Red Sox suck, whereas the Yankees, by contrast, rule. There's simply no debating that. Why some people cannot grasp such obvious, empirically demonstrable facts is beyond me.

    Give the entire article a read.

  • This is a first that I'm reading this nugget.

    Once the Santana trade is done, expect the Mets to swoop into the free-agent market to add an outfielder to replace Carlos Gomez. One name they've kicked around: Kenny Lofton.

    Um, why?

  • How come no one is screaming about the Latino movement? I mean, Johan is Venezuelan and his last name ends in a vowel. Furthermore, Omar traded away two white players as part of the deal. Hmmmm...seems fishy to me.

  • Oh, no big news here. The Mets only finalized their deal for Johan Santana. These types of signings happen all the time.
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    15 Comments:

    Blogger Sidd Finch said...

    That weiner poopie stuff could be read both ways, remember we are talking Oregon here....

    I'm waiting for something really big to happen, this off-season has been really boring so far. Will something do something big, please?

    12:36 PM

     
    Anonymous DG said...

    Agree it has been a terribly hoo hum offseason. Or, at least it had been until a bunch of days ago. That's why I retired my winter moniker. No longer relevant, thankfully!

    I'm mixed as to which is more amazing hole in one by a blind guy or hole in one by a 92 year old man. On the one hand you have blind, for lack of a better word, luck; on the other you have an obviously short fairway. Maybe that argues to the former. On the same note, I got a hole in one once in minigolf, does that count for anything?

    As Marc Foley showed, congress and morality are as sure as the stars overhead. I for one feel better knowing those nice people in Washington are looking out for me!

    I thought Johan was Irish like the rest of the Mets!

    1:09 PM

     
    Blogger metsfanincincy said...

    I'm not sure which is more amazing: a blind guy hitting a hole in one, a 92 year old hitting a hole in one, a blind 92 year old hitting a hole in one, or the fact that Johan Santana pitches for the Mets. Honestly, I'm taking the last choice!

    1:38 PM

     
    Anonymous seattle steve said...

    I hate to put a damper on all our happiness but I do not like the fact that we are the team in the NL that will be going to the WS by all experts. After 2 years of disappointment we still have to play the game, granted my expectations are just as high as every one else but we are talking about the METS a team in the past that has broken millions of hearts.

    1:41 PM

     
    Anonymous Scott from Peekskill said...

    Agreed Seattle Steve. Even with Santa (his new nickname) Christmas might be as bleak as the last one!

    It is not going to be pitching that will let us down, I think the hitting will. I am concerned that we rely too much on Delgado, Alou and a second baseman with big league chew for Achilles tendons. These guys are old and break down. Delgado might be done.

    Screw Lofton! Jesus H Christ! HE is the new Rickey! Why do we need him when we have super sub Chavez?

    One thing I know, Santa is a happy pitcher today.

    1:54 PM

     
    Blogger mr. met said...

    No longer irrelevant indeed! Things are looking rosy!

    Steve...you pessimism is unwarranted! The BoSox were the favorites as well. There is a reason we will be picked by many experts to go the WS.

    The lineup is deeper 1 through 7 are really tough outs and good hitters with 20 homers potential with the exception of Castillo, who won't add much value, but won't have a negative impact.

    Delgado will be marginally better, but he should/could be batting 7th. I'm am not all that worried about the offense.

    Chavez > Lofton

    2:23 PM

     
    Anonymous benny blanco from da bronx said...

    Watching the Carribean World Series right now on ESPN Deportes.
    Having the ability to watch baseball is...... beautiful!
    Observation... Ronnie Belliard is one fat fuck. He looks like a bowling pin.

    So someone kidnapped Jesus because some jerk offs can't clean up after their dogs... amazing.
    And that note was CERTAINLY written by an adult. Could you ever imagine as a 10 year old writing something as ridiculous as that letter? I'd be embarassed as a kid.

    Is Congress serious about that waste of time?
    It's fucking sports! Government should not be involved anymore.

    The Onion is just amazing. I love the onion. THere's just no other way to say it.

    You don't like the idea of Kenny Lofton? I know he's like 40 but I've always been a big fan of Lofton and always wanted to see him on the Mets. We all know he's not what he used to be but he's still an OBP machine! And having him on the bench? Shiiiiiiiit. Too bad he's a complainer when it comes to playing time.

    5:27 PM

     
    Anonymous Dep said...

    We're not cursed.

    Like the post said, the mets have as many or more rings in the last 40 years than 26 of the other 29 teams in baseball. that aint too shabby. I know we're conditioned to feel we're cursed, but we're not.

    Mike, your lead story, i dont even know what to say, ridiculously funny

    Great point about Omar's latino agenda and where's the cries now lol, i hadnt thought about that yet and it cracked me up. good thing there was a gomez and guerra in there i guess!

    5:36 PM

     
    Anonymous Two-By-Four said...

    Mike, you have too much time on your hands if you can find articles such as the Jesus ransom poopie story. Word is the statue is being transported to San Fran to be used in next years Folsom Street Fair.

    A 92 year old blind man with a hole in one is amazing when you consider that most of the posters at sports blogs (e.g. Metsblog and Mets Geek) are not even able to achieve a hole in one with their girl friends.

    Lofton can still run, get on base and field but more important he must sustain his quest to play on a new team every year until he is 50.

    I wonder if Estrada will beat out LoDuca for the Nats catching job.

    The most dominant game I have seen pitched by a Mets pitcher occurred on Wednesday, July 9, 1969. Link. I hope to see Santana produce such a night at Big Shea this year. I’m not sure how many people realize this but Seaver in his early years was capable of throwing his fastball in the upper 90’s. He was a pure power pitcher with perfect mechanics.

    10:25 PM

     
    Anonymous ossy said...

    he couldve gotten dan haren but chose santana cus he latino

    10:32 PM

     
    Anonymous Scott from Peekskill said...

    Dan Haren is a product of the park he played in.

    2:53 AM

     
    Anonymous Rabbi Horatio St. Domingue said...

    Dan Haren is descended from apes!

    4:51 AM

     
    Anonymous Two-By-Four said...

    In the space of a few days Santana to the Mets and The Giants win the SB. We have just witnessed the greatest upset in the history of Professional Football. As Jack Buck once said “I Don’t Believe What I Just Saw.”

    10:24 PM

     
    Anonymous Dangling DG said...

    Wallace Matthews sober?

    "It was a great move by Omar Minaya, who showed that sometimes the best thing a general manager can do is just sit and wait. Sometimes a package that didn't look like much in December looks a heck of a lot better in January."

    "Besides making the Mets a formidable team, the acquisition of Santana makes them, for a change, the more compelling baseball story in town."

    Interesting, but I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing - and I mean, nothing! - given by Matthews doesn't later get shit away. Then again, when else has he ever given the Mets anything?

    7:39 AM

     
    Blogger Sidd Finch said...

    I'm as pumped up as anyone for the coming season, when the Mets try to tie their team record of one consecutive division title.

    Changing the team's 'red headed step child' moniker is going to take more than one season, but maybe this is the time to start.

    Delgado will surely be better than last year, as he is in a contract year, Castillo is an improvement at second, Schneider is going to be great behind the plate, and good enough hitting.

    The starting pitching is much better, I expect Pedro to give the Mets at least 25 quality starts of 6 innings, which would replace Tommy Glavine.

    The bullpen will be improved, if Duaner Sanchez is healthy, that will make a huge difference. The bullpen was exhausted by August, and it showed in the stretch.

    Maybe the Mets finally get a pitcher to throw a no-hitter, and I hope it happens on a Sunday!

    10:26 AM

     

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