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You just cannot make this stuff up.
We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the wiener poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.
Just let that sink in.
At first, this all seems to be your typical Oregonian suburbanite craziness. Then after it marinates for bit, it all seems reasonable. What type of heathen does not clean up the excrement, or 'poopie' as they phrased it, that is left by their dogs? Of course, this story is made all that much better by being able to say 'weiner poopie' because 'labrador poopie' just does not have the same pizazz.
"It has to be a young person because they put these lines around Jesus, no adult is going to waste their time doing that," says Mansel. "And referring to wiener poopie. My gosh!"
Although that sounds like airtight logic, I would presume it is in fact a grownup. Kids generally do not get all bent out of shape about dog droppings around the hood. I do not know about you, but I cannot wait to hear the end of this tale that includes Jesus being stolen, ransom notes, and weiner poopie.
Now sitting somewhere with a video camera is different case, but this is not really all that big of a deal that Congress should get involved.
Unfortunately, I occasionally encounter fans of teams I do not support, and I will never be able to understand how they can have come to such a clearly incorrect conclusion. I spend a great deal of time trying to set straight whatever misinformation they have received. Yet, they somehow still manage to believe that their team is the best, despite the mountains of evidence to the contrary. Take Red Sox fans, for example. The Red Sox suck, whereas the Yankees, by contrast, rule. There's simply no debating that. Why some people cannot grasp such obvious, empirically demonstrable facts is beyond me.
Give the entire article a read.
Once the Santana trade is done, expect the Mets to swoop into the free-agent market to add an outfielder to replace Carlos Gomez. One name they've kicked around: Kenny Lofton.